"Change" - It's kind of a four letter word

I have come to realize lately that things are going to change. Some are good changes, some are bad, some you have control over, some you have to completely let go of and just let things fall wherever they are meant to be. But change itself? That is something you can always count on. The only thing you can actually DO is focus on the changes you have control over, and find a way to make it work for you.

So I had to ask myself - what can I change? Or - what do I want to change?

I am not happy with me. I don't like the way I look, I don't like the way I feel, I don't like who I am when I look and feel this way. I am NOT myself, and I don't like this person.

I want Colton to be proud of his mom. I want him to wear the "My Mom is Hot" shirt that his Aunt Kari bought for him - and I want to feel like that is a true statement.

We've been eating healthy since June, and I haven't had McDonald's in over four months. That is such an accomplishment for me....hahahahaha!! But seriously, there are days when I want some McD's fries SO BAD that I daydream about them. But I haven't had them.

I gave up drinking Mt Dew. That is also a huge change for me. I was drinking at least a six pack of Dew a day. Ugh. That is so bad to admit. But now I drink 2, sometimes 3 Coke Vanilla Zero's a day. As in - zero calories, zero carbs. At first it was pretty much zero flavor too, but I've gotten used to it now.

I started tracking my calories with myfitnesspal.com. I'm not always great at this, but when I do remember - it is CRAZY how much more picky I am with what I decide is worth the calories every day.

So I changed what I was putting in, and then, I had to focus on changing what I was putting out....

I have been running pretty regularly for a couple of months now. And I'll be honest. I have not enjoyed it. It's not fun, it's not something I look forward too, and I am ALWAYS happy when my run is over. And that's kind of sad, considering that up until last week I was only running a mile a half at a time.....four times a week.

Today I did my third 2 mile run. And for the first time - I felt good. I focused on my feet hitting the pavement. I focused on keeping my pace steady, and not overdoing it early on. My goal today was to just run as much of the two miles as I could.

I hit the 2 mile mark almost directly in front of my house. And I stopped, and I'll be honest - I cried. I cried because I ran almost that entire two miles. I walked twice - at .75 and at 1.5, and only long enough to drink some water and stretch a little bit.

I walked less than a quarter mile today That is such a big deal for me, I don't even know how to process it yet. And I felt GOOD - I didn't want to stop and walk every time the song changed. I didn't tell myself that I could stop when I reached the next street. I just kept going.....and suddenly I was home.

I have lost 24 lbs since starting to work out regularly in July. At first I was taking classes at the Red Mtn Center, which I loved...but I wasn't seeing results fast enough, and I knew that I could do better.

I started on the treadmill...and worked my way up to running a full mile start to finish. That was a pretty great day too. I did a LOT of research on running, and how to see results as quickly as possible while still remaining healthy. (I do have a baby I have to take care of ;))

And slowly, slowly...sometimes excruciatingly slowly...I am seeing results. In the last two weeks, I've been able to wear two pairs of pants that I haven't fit into since before I was pregnant. I have lost two inches of my waist, and an inch and a half off my hips. My legs always take well to working out, and for the first time in forever, I can actually cross one leg over the other comfortably while sitting in a chair.

Lately, I have been in more pictures instead of just taking them. No, I'm not at my goal weight yet, and I don't love every picture......but I have a little guy whose life is happening NOW, and I want to be in the records of his life. The best part about that has been that I actually have some current pictures of myself on Facebook...for the first time in a long time...lol!!!

It's those little things that change how you look at what you're doing, and make you appreciate every quarter mile.